Italy: My Life in Stages

Mangia bene, ridi spesso, ama molto. This translates to eat well, laugh often, love much. Its an old Italian saying on how you should live your life, and throughout mine so far, I feel as though being in Italy brings this out in me. I’ve been reflecting on my journeys in Italy, and whats crazy is every stage of my life so far I’ve been there. I’ve learned about my self and how to grow. Like if they were to make a movie about my life, I feel like a significant part would have to be filmed in Itlay!

The first time I stepped foot in the country was the summer of 2003. I was 11 and my parents decided to bring my sister and I on vacation.

We spent a rapid pace two weeks wandering the streets of Florence, visiting all of the ancient sites of Rome and cruising the canals of Venice. I was so excited that I got to eat pasta every day and I developed a strong love for melon and prosciutto. I couldn’t believe there was a city built on top of water! How does it float! Do kids take gondolas to school? My mind was completely blown. It was the first time I had visited a country with such visible history everywhere. Seeing buildings that are thousands of years old is mind blowing to a child.

Seeing the David, Colosseum and all the ancient sites were incredible, but perhaps the most important part of this trip was when we went to stay with friends in a quiet country house in Cortona. I’ll never forget being in the backseat of the car and looking out to what looked like an ocean of sunflowers. The house was old and made of stone, which of course in my eleven year old mind meant that it was haunted, and there was no TV or radio, and of course were in 2003 so no internet. I was not happy. The path leading up to the house was framed by pine trees and the road was littered with pine nuts! I’d never seen them before so would collect them as we go. On one afternoon, like a scene out of a movie, some of the local men who had come to hang out with my dad and his friend taught me how to play poker using my pine nuts as chips. For the first time on the trip I was able to sit back and forget about time. I learned where olive oil came from and that its nearly impossible to kill an olive tree, I was taught about crushing grapes with your feet and made piles of fallen grapes and would bring them back to the garden so I could ‘make wine.’ I became really present and felt completely engaged with a new culture. I’ve always had a strong imagination but all of a sudden I was on sensory overload and it just went wild! One evening my family went to dinner at a neighbours house where they cooked us a six course traditional meal! I remember thinking ‘why on earth does this random family want to have us over for dinner?’ Looking back I realize it was a way to connect, perhaps practice a new language and show genuine, old school hospitality. We decided to take a day trip to Perugia to check out the Casa del Cioccolato Perugina, which is where they make all those little Baci chocolates in the silver wrappers. Well being an eleven year old in a chocolate factory is intense, and doesn’t mix well with being on winding Italian roads…i’m sure you can guess where this led. Ya…that is a lesson that stuck with me, and I’ll tell you now, for all I’ve travelled the world I have never again over indulged before a car trip again so lesson definitely. This trip with my family really showed me what it meant to slow down and to enjoy where you are in the moment, talk to people and learn.

The next time I found myself in Italy I was seventeen years old. I was spending the summer travelling the country while taking an advanced placement classical civilizations course. There was a group of us Canadians broken up into a few different subjects. I’d travelled alone to my aunts house in Florida or to camp, but this was the first time I was without anyone I knew, let loose in Europe. Every teenagers dream. Looking back it was like something you’d see on a TV show. Having afternoon class outside the Coliseum or the Borghese gardens, wandering into little piazzas to have pasta for lunch, and to be honest, none of us spent very much time in class, it was more about exploring the amazing cities we were in. I definitely let loose for the first time in my life. I did my first pub crawl around the Spanish Steps, I smoked my first pack of cigarettes, bought a Gucci purse off the Via Condotti that I couldn’t afford (but I still have!) I was starting to learn who I was outside of my family and friend group. In that time we went to Rome, Venice, Puglia, Verona, Sardinia, Pisa, Florence and Siena. I got to experience the different sub cultures from each place, their signature dishes and music and history! We did the majority of all of the schoolwork we had to do in Rome over the first few weeks, and honestly it was actually really cool to be learning about the fall of Rome and Augustus and Caesar while standing where they stood, it definitely fortified a love of history for me. I still remember the presentation I had to give while standing under the Arch of Titus.

It was also the first time I did group travel with people I didn’t know, and was staying in multi-share rooms. Honestly, I think this is something everyone needs to learn how to do, to share space and share on an adventure! While on the island of Sardinia, my grandmother passed away. I remember not knowing quite how to react as my dad told me over the phone. My parents were insistent that I stay and have fun and finish my course so I didn’t return home. It was the first time I had dealt with death in my life, and I don’t think I actually really processed it at all until I was home. I felt so far away and removed from my normal life. The drinking age in Italy is sixteen so I was already over the age required. I had never just walked into a bar and ordered wine before so that was really exciting! I felt so adult and independent for the first time in my life. Being a hormonal teenager I was also ready to have my Italian summer fling like in the rom-coms. In Siena I met a boy named Giuseppe. He was sweet and blonde with blue eyes and an accent to die for. He took me for gelato and showed me around the city. It was perfect. One night he and his friend came to the hotel we were staying at all Romeo style and waited for my roommate Amy and I under are balcony. We got busted by our chaperone, but it was all very romantic. During that time in Siena the Palio was on. Its an ancient horse race thats held in the city twice every year. It consists of ten horses and riders representing the different wards of the city. I’d never really been to a festival before, or any event that draws such pride and fanaticism it was amazing! I chose to represent the pantera district. Just being lost in a sea of thousands of people in the middle of a medieval town was overwhelming, like excitement overload! You often hear people talking about the importance of exposing people to art, culture, food, nature and this was the trip I realized how much I wanted to experience those things for myself, like I discovered the lasting impact they would have on me. Being in Italy at this stage of my life, as a young lady I began to experience life as an adult on my own terms for the first time. It helped me get over the fear of the unknown, the worries about ‘stranger danger.’ I reveled in food, art, romance, culture and adventure. I think really this trip was how I developed my taste for it!

I was 20 years old when I returned to the great boot shaped country. My boyfriend at the time and I decided to take our first trip together. Italy is of course, one of the most romantic countries around so it seemed a natural choice. As I’d been to Rome multiple times I wanted to experience somewhere new, we decided on the seaside town of northern Tuscany, Viareggio. It was quiet and beautiful. Anyone who has been freshly in love knows how powerful that feeling is, when you throw in the Italian music and atmosphere, I just felt like I was floating. It was the first time I had someone special to share a travel experience with and take their wants into account. Honestly, I can be pretty selfish when it comes to travel, it’s why I mostly travel alone because I like my itinerary and want to do whatever I please. But something about being on the coast, showed me how wonderful it can be to have an adventure with someone. The town itself was really cool! Its known mostly for its carnival celebrations but otherwise its kind of sleepy. I still think about the best lasagna I ever had at ristorante Kalika. I remember feeling so adult ordering wine! I wasn’t at my parents house or at the university pub, so it felt so fancy.

A few days later we decided to hop a train on over to Florence. This was my third time there and I felt like a right old tour guide. In a very full circle moment we actually stayed at the some hotel as I did with my family, The Grand Minerva! He wasn’t one for museums or art though, he was more of a music lover and wanted to just walk around the city. This was totally new for me! I was usually such a planner, but he was such a laid back person and I decided to follow his lead. It allowed me to have a completely different experience of the city. We got lost for an entire day in the Boboli gardens, took our time listening to outdoor concerts, sat staring at the water over the Ponte Vecchio, and having the longest lunches you could imagine. This is the great part about travelling with someone else, that by trying how someone else explores you’ll have a totally different experience. The funniest part about this whole experience is that this is the trait that rubbed off on me. Long after we split up, I’ve become someone who loves to spend days getting lost in cities, no plan just experiencing whatever I happen upon. I’ve slowed down. Sure I still have things I want to see, but I also leave a lot of room for spontaneity. I’m not sure I would have been open to that had someone I loved not shown me how wonderful that was!

A few years later we ended up joining my parents on the island of Sicily for my moms birthday! Sicily blew my mind because its really not like anywhere else in Italy at all! Sicily definitely has Greek, Arabic and Spanish influence in the architecture, culture and even their grammar is a little different than conventional Italian. We spent most of our time in the city of Palermo. I had just gotten my first proper camera and had no idea how to use it, but was having the time of my life taking pictures of the markets and the cobblestone streets. The food is really different, like caponata which id never had before, and it just had a beautifully forgotten by time feel. I remember just feeling totally and completely happy. I was with my parents and my boyfriend, all of whom I loved. Just sharing new experiences with all of my favourite people actually took me by surprise at how powerful it felt. It was totally new to me. We walked around looking that the beautiful light fixtures that hung in the streets, ate arancini, We spent my moms birthday on a boat floating on the Mediterranean. Eating cake, drinking and champagne and sunbathing, yup I could definitely get used to it! Its funny looking back on these trip. Instagram wasn’t a thing yet, I hadn’t started pursuing my career as a photographer and its really made me reflect on how, yes photos are wonderful, but you really don’t need to take 1000 when you’re traveling.

At the end of the trip we spend a few days in Cefalu, which was even quieter. Really it goes to show atmosphere really can have profound effects on the psyche and soul, I was in a complete place of tranquility and bliss. I was doing my masters at the time and all of my energy was going into working and studying. Being with my family in Sicily helped me to develop that part of my brain that allows you to switch off when you need to, to not just be present, but to allow space for everything at once, including tons of pizza…

My most recent trip to Italy was in September 2017. I was on my way home to Toronto from Split, Croatia and as I needed to transfer in Rome, I figured I would stay a few days. This time there was no family, friends, travel group or boyfriend. I was completely alone. A single, solo, female traveler in Rome. I treated myself to a beautiful hotel near the Pantheon. I love the movie Roman Holiday, and decided this was going to be my version of that. As I had been to Rome multiple times before, I didn’t want to just see the same things so I decided to take a bit of an alternative approach this time, which you can read about here. I woke up early every day and went to Sant Eustachio cafe, which I swear is the best cappuccino in Rome. I dressed in beautiful dresses and got lost walking through the streets. Because I wasn’t on anybody else’s schedule, it actually felt more enjoyable to just saunter by the Trevi Fountain to toss in my coin, or sit outside the Colosseum having an ice cream cone. I didn’t feel scared or stressed. I felt completely at peace having my gnocchi and wine while writing in my journal. I also decided to challenge myself and have experiences just for myself! I took a cooking class in Trastavere, I met up with friends for gelato, I met with the amazing jewellers at CoRo to talk architecture and buy some rings. I desperately tried to practice my Italian with everyone. One of the best moments was the day I left and a woman at the airport assumed I was a local because of my accent- amazing. This is the best part of solo travel, doing what you want. At this point I had travelled alone a few times, but it was while I was at dinner my last night eating my carbonara that I realized how completely content I was. I didn’t miss having people around, I didn’t need anyone else travelling with me to have a good time or wonderful experiences. In Italian there is a saying, la dolce far niente, which means the sweetness of doing nothing, and that’s what I did. Just ate, walked around, took photos, drank aperol and enjoyed my life. I felt beautiful and free and full of pasta, which really is how you want to feel leaving Italy.

On paper I don’t have much of a connection to Italy. My families background is very Eastern European. I don’t have a big Italian family or connection through religion. Despite that, I have found myself in Italy during every major stage of my life and my experiences with the people, places and food of the country has allowed me to grow as a woman. I’ve learned to be more trusting and open as a person, more adventurous with experiences, more appreciative of art, history and local culture, more content with being by myself and of course, more hungry for all the pizza, pasta and dolci! I look back on all of those trips with amazement at the different cities and towns and what I learned from each of them. What seeing the Vatican and the David meant to me as a child, how kissing in the Boboli gardens felt, sharing pasta with my family in the countryside or wandering the cobblestone streets as an adult. I have no doubt I will continue to return to the great boot shaped country that is Italy and continue to eat, laugh and love.